The things Kids Say

Carrying on with the last post's theme on our kids, today I have posted a few funny stories that have been sent in.

• An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Bless, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?

• One day I was driving with my six-year-old daughter and beeped the car horn by mistake. Sorry "I did that by accident." She replied, "I know that, Daddy, because you didn't say 'JERK' afterwards!"

• My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

• Wrong time, wrong place
  My daughter-in-law was in B&Q a few weeks ago, when my little granddaughter piped up, 'Mummy, I want toilets.' Mum, busy pushing her younger daughter in a buggy, while keeping an eye on her elder son, says, 'Well, I asked you before we came out of the house if you wanted to go, sorry but you'll have to wait.' They amble along for several minutes, when suddenly mum realises she-who-wanted-toilets is missing. At that moment there is an announcement over the tannoy 'Will the mother of ... please come to the...' So my daughter-in-law hurries over to the bathroom displays where she is confronted by some pretty irate staff. DD (Dear Daughter) is standing there, in total utter blue-eyed innocence, after having found her way over to one of the immaculate posh toilets on display, struggled out of her trousers and nics, hoisted herself on it, grimaced and strained...and poohed.